Friday, October 2, 2009

Invitation Etiquette: Asking For Cash

"Yay! ANOTHER blender!" "I've always wanted two toasters!" "I can't wait to display all these picture my closet."

When registering for your wedding, you may find you already have all the little necessities that a bride and groom typically register for. Couples are getting married later in life, shacking up (good or bad, it happens all the time), and already have established careers, apartments, or homes, by the time they tie the knot. So in the world where cash is king, it's tempting to ask for good old fashioned moolah on your wedding invitation. After all, this saves your guests time, right?

Not exactly.

While some rules are meant to be broken (who said that punch bowl didn't have alcohol?), never ask for cash on your wedding invitation. In fact, never put any registry information at all on your wedding invitation. If you do, you seriously run the risk of having about three grandmas call you on it at your wedding. And I'm not kidding. In a recent Q&A in the Wall Street Journal, the author cites Anna Post (author and spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute), who says, "Saying anything about any gifts of any kind can be jarring to recipients." Instead, a perfectly acceptable way to let guests know you prefer cash is to ask friends and family to pass along the information. You can even let them know via a wedding web site.

Think cash is tacky? Other types of registries are becoming more and more popular, such as a honeymoon ( or charitable organization registries (

P.S. Speaking from experience, if you want to ask for cash gifts, but are worried it will be tacky, you'll find guests are much more receptive when they realize they are contributing to a bigger cause - your first home, an in-house photography studio, an outdoor garden and sunroom, etc...

photo by: Leaca's Philosophy


Norbridge Antiques said...

Like it or not cash is tacky (X 3). The only time it isn't is when it is been an tradition of either the bride's or groom's culture.

{The Perfect Palette} said...

Great post- can't believe that there are brides who still need clarification on this matter- asking for cash is just a no no. And like you said- no mention of gifts/cash on invites at all :)

Mouse said...

Dern tootin.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post, but I have to disagree entirely. I have received many invitations that include registry information as well as ask for monetary gifts, and I don't find it tacky at all. Especially with the current recession, I think it's totally understandable that people request money in lieu of gifts. Giving money is also a totally acceptable tradition in other cultures (i.e. Vietnamese, Vietnamese American). People should be free to be straightforward about what they would prefer and shouldn't be criticized for it.

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