This is a hard blog post to write. Okay...
Let me check twitter now, just to distract myself.
Okay...Seriously, writing now....
I am transitioning this blog to more of a personal one. I haven't quite figured out what I'll do with all the wedding stuff on here, but for now "done is better than perfect," so I'm just going to write this post and publish. It is really difficult putting yourself out there for all the world to see, to judge, to scrutinize, but I am really tired of living in this mental space of fear. My brain throws daggers out often - "You're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not... You're just not..."
Why is it so hard to fight these words? I don't subscribe to the theory this is the devil on my shoulder. It's the yin to my yang. It sucks. I need to build up my yang or something.
2014 is my year of NO EXCUSES. So I am here and I am going to live it. I am done with worrying about what other people think, done with holding on to pain, done with being the product of my own mental atrocities. This blog will hold myself accountable...I hope. I have some goals. Certain ones seem harmless and others seem so incredibly unattainable that to put it out there - to write it here - would be terrifying. Why? I don't know. It's the yin thing. Fortunately, I have started off with other, less intimidating goals.
They will be shared here. I promise. Until then, let's remember that you don't get to that place without hard work. Right now, I just have to have faith that the place I am in now is right where I need to be. Hard work awaits.
Rock on, friends.
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