Dear lovely readers,
I am having a tough time tonight. A really tough time. I would like to write that I spent a lot of time contemplating whether or not I should be sharing my pity party with you, but I'm kind of channeling Betty White (the queen of bluntness IMO) at the moment, so grab the DJ and start putting toothpicks through those olives! Let's get this party started!
It's been a long day. My daughter, who is 18 months old, is entering the terrible two's and her attitude change is wearing me out. My husband works a lot and I choose to be a stay-at-home-mom, so I play domestic diva most days - cleaning house, child rearing, making dinner, playdates, etc... - and I work on this blog in the evenings. I don't get a lot of sleep as a result. Of course, no one is forcing me to blog. I do it because I like it and because I need a little something to call my own. I have been working hard to build a brand and make this blog an interesting place to visit and I was recently very excited when a company contacted me about doing a sponsored post. However, after a little back and forth, I realized they did not want me to explicitly state that it would be a sponsored post and that I would be receiving compensation. That's okay, I understand where they are coming from, but I didn't feel comfortable not putting a compensation disclaimer because I feel it's misleading. Since I refused to comply, they refused the sponsored post. *Sigh. Standing alone on the dance floor. Stuffing face with tooth picked olives.*
So I am left once again at what feels like a starting point and for some reason, a complete sense of failure. After some thought, I realize my problem is twofold - one, I need more clearly defined goals, and two, I am attaching
my sense of self worth to extrinsic achievements (i.e. the success of
this blog, my daughter's behavior, my relationships with friends,
etc...), when really I need to focus on intrinsic accomplishments. I do believe that by doing this, the extrinsic success will follow, it's just such a hard mindset to leave behind. After all, rarely do we consider "wealth" and "success" to mean anything but "high monetary value."
So off I go. My dad used to tell me to "get over it." (Thanks for the sensitive advice, Dad.) So that's what I am going to attempt to do tonight. Tomorrow is a new day and I promise this PMS laden post will be replaced with a brand, new cheeriness. Optimism is a beautiful thing and as part of my new focus on intrinsic achievements, I plan to implement fully.
*Starting to dance a little. Can see disco ball lights dancing around my head.*